The holidays have come and gone and I thank God for that. It was great to see family, but the emotional disturbances caused by such holidays just really don’t seem worth it at times.
Christmas – I was in Santa Rosa with a crew of friends who mostly live around me, hence we have developed a good bond because we see each other more often. We had a lot of fun and ate amazing food, once again prepared by the brilliant chefs KatP and Raquel. We had a “white Christmas” gift exchange, which resulted in the destruction of a baby doll and the playing of kazoos for like … hours. No joke. It was fun and I am really glad that we had the opportunity to spend that time together. It helped, but it still didn’t feel like Christmas without family and the normal traditions.
After Christmas I left for Belize, where I joined my family at a beautiful beach in the southern part of the country. It was quite a trip (in both meanings).
Honestly, going through the airport in El Salvador almost made me cry. The Honduras airports have nothing: no people, no shops, no food, just like 2 planes a day. I get to El Salvador and I was immediately overwhelmed by people trying to sell me things, rows of shiny objects and people in their valor jumpsuits and Louis Vuitton handbags. I forgot what commercialism is really like! How many options you have for perfume, liquor and the like in duty free shops! My God!
So everyone is all happy with their families on the day after Christmas, heading to their luxurious vacations … blah blah blah. Here comes sad little Hannah with her pit stained shirt with a hole in the side (nicest one I had at the time) with my jeans stained by banana plants and soap from them being “washed” in the pila.
Now, I live in a world where I get excited about avocados in my local market and the most luxurious item I can buy in my site are Dorito chips. The most I see of white people are fellow Volunteers, but I don’t consider them strange because they’re going through the same experiences as me. Any other white person I encounter in Honduras I automatically wonder who they are and what they’re doing in MY country. Peace Corps Volunteers have a reputation of being snobby, but HEY we put in the time man!
So, I get to the San Salvador airport and there are real displays with real customer service. There are so many white people speaking English that I just wanted to cry. I was there, looking crappy and sitting alone. All I wanted was to go back to my house in Honduras and forget the emotional, physical turmoil. I felt like I didn’t belong anywhere. I didn’t belong amongst these upper middle class families anymore because of the way I looked and the way I felt. I kept thinking back to Honduras and they people that I knew there and I felt like I was betraying them. How could I ever expect to gain their respect and trust if I can still run off to my exotic destination vacation and forget about the life that I lead in Honduras? I felt like a fake in both cultures and lives.
To make matters worse I get on the plane, double check my seat number and look up and realize I’m in first class … Now, before Peace Corps I probably would have done a jig and promptly begun taking advantage of all that they had to offer. Not anymore. I stood in the aisle, looking around. There has to be some mistake! There’s NO WAY I, ME am supposed to be in First Class. After what seemed like hours, I finally realize that that is my seat and I sit down and probably looked really uncomfortable. While everyone boarded I just kept waiting for the flight attendants to accuse me of sitting in the wrong seat and not being where I belonged. I was meek and just miserable.
I get in Belize about three hours before the fam, which was torture. I just wanted to see everyone and know that I belonged somewhere. That I had a family and they were coming for me … I belonged where I was. Plus, I didn’t have any money! HAH
Belize wasn’t any better. I hadn’t slept the night before, which resulted in me sleeping on a picnic table in the outside waiting area. I would wake up periodically to people staring at me. I was probably paranoid, but to me, their stares said, “Poor thing looks lost.”
Met up with the family and it was amazing. I can’t begin to describe it so … I won’t. It was an amazing vacation. I got a massage, swam a bit, ate amazing food and most importantly … took hot showers and watched T.V.!
Got back to Corquin with Chris, where we had a nice little visit. I realize now how important it is for people to visit. You see my pictures and hear my stories, but no one will ever begin to understand unless they visit. I hope people visit, because if not, that’s two years of my life that will be lost to my friends and family and will be, up to this point, the most important two years of my life.
That was despressing, but it’s an unfortunate fact of Peace Corps. You wake up one morning after having spent the entire week in your house, avoiding Honduran life, and you think, “Gosh! I think I’m depressed!” And then!, you get depressed because you are depressed! And you think, “What am I going to do?! If Honduras makes me sad … then I’m screwed!” Then you call your friends and you just get over it, hopefully. That’s where I was at a couple of weeks ago.
Turns out, avoiding getting back into work was a bad thing! I’m back on track and slowly getting into the groove again. Right now myself and KatP are working on a big project, which will probably result in us being committed to an insane asylum! We’re working on the conduction line of my casco urbano. So, the water that comes from the source and then goes to the various tanks is in the conduction line. After the tanks it’s called the distribution line, because it distributes the water. Funny how that makes sense?
So, last week we went to meet up with the mayor in Corquin about the water project for the new community they’re building at the moment for 40 families who lost everything in a landslide last year. We were under the impression that we would be designing that water system, but fijeseque (you see, unfortunately, blah blah blah) they already did a design. Hmm … HOW DID EVERYONE FORGET TO MENTION THAT TO US?!
Well, that project may be done, but they want us to do this improvement for the main line of Corquin! Fun, interesting, do tell me more … ! We agree and tell the mayor that we want the various designs and we also was to walk the line just to see how bad they’ve changed it and butchered the pipes. Now, you might say, “Hannah, that’s unfair to assume that they’ve messed things up!” No, no it’s not because Hondurans have a wonderful “fix it” mentality, that I honestly appreciate, except for the fact that it ruins numerous water systems. Then again, if they didn’t do that, I wouldn’t have a job.
So, we go back the next week on Wednesday and walk up to the municipality and … they’re closed. Why? Nobody knows, but they’re closed. WOOT! Free day! Ok, well next day we get ourselves up to the office and the mayor isn’t there and no one bothered to look for the designs. Professional much? Ok, we’ll come back after lunch. Go back after lunch and fijeseque the mayor still isn’t there and they don’t think they have the designs. They. Don’t. Have. The. Designs.
Now, on U.S. standards, maybe a town of 8,000 people isn’t too big, but here in Honduras it’s big. These people should be able to keep track of the designs of the water system. The system in this town that brings life to the people. This is how they shower. This is how they wash their clothes. Their houses. Their COFFEE! I mean … IS THIS NOT IMPORTANT TO ANYONE?! We wanted to scream. How? How can you lose something of such importance?? CUENTAME!
Well, after a couple more visits they finally find the plans, which don’t help us at all. We’re going to walk the 9 mile conduction line over the next couple of days to see if we can figure it out. Going to be so fun! I love when the Honduran countryside kicks my butt. Literally. I swear tree roots and rocks go out of their way to trip me. Oh well. Builds character.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Fijeseque, Fijeseque
I hope that everyone had a good New Year and are getting back into the groove of work and school after vacations! On my part, it was a little hard to get back into the rhythm after having “rested” for so long. Early this week I realized that I’ve been in a low recently. It amazes me that it takes so long to identify why you don’t want to leave your house; you avoid work and tend to sleep/watch a lot of movies. Then, once you realize what’s going on, you fall into a BIGGER slump because it’s sad and so hard to get out of. Doesn’t help that most of the Volunteers are in the same slump, which means when you call someone to talk, they only validate your feelings, which isn’t exactly helpful.
Anyways, I made myself get into the office and that has helped except everything that is wrong with Honduran working culture slapped me in the face this week. How people here manage to get anything done just, it amazes me.
This is … exaggerated, a little.
1. I’m in the office, working on these God awful designs (not my favorite part of the job, for sure!), and I get a TEXT from a co-worker. Shouldn’t this be done over the phone? So, fijeseque (this is the point where every gringo realizes they are about to get INCREDIBLY angry and frustrated) we need you to come measure a plot of land we bought for the families that lost their houses in the landslide last year … now.
- Hannah … holding her breath so as not to yell in the office, texts back, “GPS or theodolite? I don’t have the tripod so I can’t do it with the equipo. Kathryn is coming Thursday so we can do it Friday … sorry man.”
- “No … it has to be done today or Wednesday…”
Imagine me yelling like Lewis Black … THEN WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THIS LIKE … LAST WEEK!?!
I MEAN … WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH ONE HOUR NOTICE??? WHO DOES THAT?!
Then, I call Kathryn to tell her what’s going on and she asks all these questions and I realize they didn’t give me any details!
- Bueno, “What is all this for? Doesn’t the mancommunidad have the measurements?”
- “Nope. Nobody has measurements … Figure it out.”
Ok, so he didn’t say “figure it out,” but he kind of implied that, which sent me into a fit and I called Kathryn again.
- “THIS IS RIDICULOUS! WHO DOES THIS CRAP?!”
So, I have developed a test to how serious Hondurans are about projects and things they consider to be “emergencies.” I ignore them. If they really care, they will seek you out and then you know that they were serious. Fool proof.
2. Well, I go back to the office after lunch to get a ride to talk to the president of the coffee cooperative about the water study I’m working on for them. I want to go back and take some GPS points, so we needed to plan when we would do that, etc. Now, Rafa kind of scares me, because he’s really quiet with me and I think he hates me. So I explained what I wanted to do and we set a date. And then, he calmly drops a bomb on my head …
- “Well, how long do you think the rest of the study will take?”
- Me, on the defensive, because I’ve been procrastinating, “Well, it’s essentially two designs and that’s why it’s taking longer … “
- “Ok, because we have a guy writing a grant for the water project and we need it to finish, because it’s the base of the grant …”
Sorry Mom, but WTF?! I mean, at any point was someone going to mention this to me?? I mean, where I come from that is the FIRST bit of information you mention! Not the last, not at the last moment. Hey we want a water study, because we’re going to put it in a grant and it will be the base of the request … just so you know. GAAAHHHH! My jaw just dropped to the ground. This is too much for one day …
3. I get back to the office and my counter-part jumps on me. “We need you guys to get out there and measure that plot of land! Call Kathryn and ask her if she can come for Wednesday.” I called Kathryn, who is never thrilled with the unorganized nature of the Honduran working culture, basically told them to “piss off.” Is that cursing?? What she said was much worse!
- “Carlos, she can’t come because she has a GPS training …” And that’s it! He says nothing!
I wanted to go with them on Wednesday just to check out what was going on, because no one was offering me details, and if we ended up going on Friday I would need a better idea of exactly what was expected of us. Be there early and pack a lunch. Right got it.
4. Wednesday. Now, they always tell me to get to the office exactly at 8 am, because the cars leaving at exactly 8 am. When I first started working I got there at like 7:45 and ended up waiting around for hours. Every time they tell me this I want to laugh in their faces, because they still can’t admit that they will never do anything on time!
Despite all this, I still get there at like 8:10, because I’m afraid that the one day I get there later they will actually leave without me. We didn’t leave until after 9 am. Figures. Everyone is sitting around and I impatiently ask, “Why aren’t we leaving??”
- “We don’t have a car.”
- “Well who has the car? Where is the car?”
- Calmly responds, “Nobody knows.”
A car is missing. A car is missing and no one knows where it went. Everyone is in the office and all three cars are gone. Who has the cars? How do three cars disappear without anyone seeming to realize who is DRIVING THEM? I don’t even validate that comment with a response and just go back to playing games on my GPS. DID YOU KNOW THE GPS HAS GAMES?! I didn’t! This is an amazing discovery. One of the guys sits down next to me and asks what I’m doing. Like a little kid I respond, shoving the GPS in his face, “IT HAS GAMES!!” He promptly grabs it and starts playing and I sulk like a little kid, bored again.
Here’s where the second “you’ve-got-to-be-kidding-me” thing comes in. So we’re all standing around and they call me over to look at something. Low and behold, they do have measurements. They did do a drawing of the property. They do know exactly what measurements they need to divide the property into 12 lots. They have exactly what they wanted me to do; only they did it with GPS instead of the theodolite …
- “Umm… guys? What’s this?”
- My counter-part says, “We just wanted you to double check and make sure everything was right…”
That would have been an extra day of work in the field plus whatever work on the computer. Plus, it wouldn’t have been sustainable because I would have done it all myself, and it’s better for a local to do, which apparently was possible anyways! Who, what, where is the reasoning behind that one? Someone please explain to me?!
So the car comes back and guys jump out who I’ve never seen before. No one bats an eye and we leave …
So we went, split up the lots in one day, and everything is done now instead of in a week. Efficient much?
While we were sitting and waiting for the other group to do their 2 lots (as opposed to our NINE), I started to feel really itchy. Crap. Itching in Honduras means weird things are crawling all over your body. I pull up my pant leg and I’m covered in little red dots with black spots in the middle … ticks. EVERYWHERE! They were the size of pin heads. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! My pant line itches too and I find another tick community now staking claim on my skin. Great. I point this out to Abran and he just starts hysterically laughing. That’s, that’s not the reaction I was looking for … exactly. Thanks.
I went home and scrubbed my entire body for several minutes. I had to personally remove each and every tick, which I should have counted. Luckily, I have the steroid cream from my other rash, which I’ve put all over myself, because I had ticks all over my body. Everywhere. One I was like, “Oh no you DI-DN!” Hah. Too personal man. I can’t stop itching this morning. Ridiculous little buggers, but at least there isn’t Lyme’s disease here.
5. This morning I was dealt my last blow (hopefully because it’s Thursday and I’m planning on ignoring the office tomorrow) … Kathryn and I have been waiting since before the holidays to go with her office and my mayor’s office to look at a potential water source intended for the new community of houses that were built for the people who lost their homes in the landslide last year. Several times the trip has been postponed and finally it seemed like today we were going to get out there. Kathryn and I both are aching to get back into the field and were pretty excited to be included on this project.
Last night Kathryn sends me a text saying that they haven’t tested the quantity or quality of the water, but people seem to think it will be sufficient for the 40 families. Ok. Cool. Well, this morning I get another text saying that SANAA (the water authority) already has designed the water system, but no one seemed to know about this prior. For instance, the mayor’s office hadn’t the slightest idea … That would be like people living on a Superfund site and the EPA never bothered to tell them! Ok, maybe not quite, but more like a local government gearing up to start a sewer project and the state government mentions, “Oh yeah, hey guys, we did that like 20 years ago, but ya know, didn’t tell ya!”
WHO DOES THAT?! How did that never get mentioned to ANYONE?! How do these various agencies lack so much in communication that they haven’t communicated something that big and important. A water system. Running water. The essence of life and no one saw fit to mention it to anyone else?
It’s not just a matter of communication, but of money as well.
A) SANAA isn’t free and we are
B) Also, all the materials for the lots, materials for the houses, latrines and pilas were paid for already by Habitat for Humanity, ODECO, the mayor’s office and various other development organizations working in the area. Now, from what I understood, the water system didn’t have funding yet, which I thought was funny, because I think it’s pretty important. Not to mention, what good is it having pour flush latrines (need water) and pilas when you don’t have a water connection … ? That’s like having indoor plumbing, but fijeseque you don’t have a water connection. I’ve seen where the community is. They would have had to walk very far to reach the river and that water isn’t worth walking a couple of miles to get.
So a water design exists and I will get over my disappointment on that one, but if no one knew about this design then I would imagine that they haven’t been looking for funding. If no one was looking for funding, then they’re incredibly behind on that and the whole situation is just silly.
Silly is how I’m describing my week. Silly Hondurans and their silly communication problems. I was starting to call Kathryn too much to update/complain the utter lack about organization in my office at the moment, so I started calling Becky. When I started calling Becky I stopped freaking out and just started laughing. Becky says, “Ahhh, yes, you’ve reached the part where all you can do is laugh at the situation. Sorry man, must have been a bad week.” If you get to the point where it doesn’t make you angry then, well, you’ve lost, because Honduras has thoroughly kicked your butt.
Anyways, I made myself get into the office and that has helped except everything that is wrong with Honduran working culture slapped me in the face this week. How people here manage to get anything done just, it amazes me.
This is … exaggerated, a little.
1. I’m in the office, working on these God awful designs (not my favorite part of the job, for sure!), and I get a TEXT from a co-worker. Shouldn’t this be done over the phone? So, fijeseque (this is the point where every gringo realizes they are about to get INCREDIBLY angry and frustrated) we need you to come measure a plot of land we bought for the families that lost their houses in the landslide last year … now.
- Hannah … holding her breath so as not to yell in the office, texts back, “GPS or theodolite? I don’t have the tripod so I can’t do it with the equipo. Kathryn is coming Thursday so we can do it Friday … sorry man.”
- “No … it has to be done today or Wednesday…”
Imagine me yelling like Lewis Black … THEN WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THIS LIKE … LAST WEEK!?!
I MEAN … WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH ONE HOUR NOTICE??? WHO DOES THAT?!
Then, I call Kathryn to tell her what’s going on and she asks all these questions and I realize they didn’t give me any details!
- Bueno, “What is all this for? Doesn’t the mancommunidad have the measurements?”
- “Nope. Nobody has measurements … Figure it out.”
Ok, so he didn’t say “figure it out,” but he kind of implied that, which sent me into a fit and I called Kathryn again.
- “THIS IS RIDICULOUS! WHO DOES THIS CRAP?!”
So, I have developed a test to how serious Hondurans are about projects and things they consider to be “emergencies.” I ignore them. If they really care, they will seek you out and then you know that they were serious. Fool proof.
2. Well, I go back to the office after lunch to get a ride to talk to the president of the coffee cooperative about the water study I’m working on for them. I want to go back and take some GPS points, so we needed to plan when we would do that, etc. Now, Rafa kind of scares me, because he’s really quiet with me and I think he hates me. So I explained what I wanted to do and we set a date. And then, he calmly drops a bomb on my head …
- “Well, how long do you think the rest of the study will take?”
- Me, on the defensive, because I’ve been procrastinating, “Well, it’s essentially two designs and that’s why it’s taking longer … “
- “Ok, because we have a guy writing a grant for the water project and we need it to finish, because it’s the base of the grant …”
Sorry Mom, but WTF?! I mean, at any point was someone going to mention this to me?? I mean, where I come from that is the FIRST bit of information you mention! Not the last, not at the last moment. Hey we want a water study, because we’re going to put it in a grant and it will be the base of the request … just so you know. GAAAHHHH! My jaw just dropped to the ground. This is too much for one day …
3. I get back to the office and my counter-part jumps on me. “We need you guys to get out there and measure that plot of land! Call Kathryn and ask her if she can come for Wednesday.” I called Kathryn, who is never thrilled with the unorganized nature of the Honduran working culture, basically told them to “piss off.” Is that cursing?? What she said was much worse!
- “Carlos, she can’t come because she has a GPS training …” And that’s it! He says nothing!
I wanted to go with them on Wednesday just to check out what was going on, because no one was offering me details, and if we ended up going on Friday I would need a better idea of exactly what was expected of us. Be there early and pack a lunch. Right got it.
4. Wednesday. Now, they always tell me to get to the office exactly at 8 am, because the cars leaving at exactly 8 am. When I first started working I got there at like 7:45 and ended up waiting around for hours. Every time they tell me this I want to laugh in their faces, because they still can’t admit that they will never do anything on time!
Despite all this, I still get there at like 8:10, because I’m afraid that the one day I get there later they will actually leave without me. We didn’t leave until after 9 am. Figures. Everyone is sitting around and I impatiently ask, “Why aren’t we leaving??”
- “We don’t have a car.”
- “Well who has the car? Where is the car?”
- Calmly responds, “Nobody knows.”
A car is missing. A car is missing and no one knows where it went. Everyone is in the office and all three cars are gone. Who has the cars? How do three cars disappear without anyone seeming to realize who is DRIVING THEM? I don’t even validate that comment with a response and just go back to playing games on my GPS. DID YOU KNOW THE GPS HAS GAMES?! I didn’t! This is an amazing discovery. One of the guys sits down next to me and asks what I’m doing. Like a little kid I respond, shoving the GPS in his face, “IT HAS GAMES!!” He promptly grabs it and starts playing and I sulk like a little kid, bored again.
Here’s where the second “you’ve-got-to-be-kidding-me” thing comes in. So we’re all standing around and they call me over to look at something. Low and behold, they do have measurements. They did do a drawing of the property. They do know exactly what measurements they need to divide the property into 12 lots. They have exactly what they wanted me to do; only they did it with GPS instead of the theodolite …
- “Umm… guys? What’s this?”
- My counter-part says, “We just wanted you to double check and make sure everything was right…”
That would have been an extra day of work in the field plus whatever work on the computer. Plus, it wouldn’t have been sustainable because I would have done it all myself, and it’s better for a local to do, which apparently was possible anyways! Who, what, where is the reasoning behind that one? Someone please explain to me?!
So the car comes back and guys jump out who I’ve never seen before. No one bats an eye and we leave …
So we went, split up the lots in one day, and everything is done now instead of in a week. Efficient much?
While we were sitting and waiting for the other group to do their 2 lots (as opposed to our NINE), I started to feel really itchy. Crap. Itching in Honduras means weird things are crawling all over your body. I pull up my pant leg and I’m covered in little red dots with black spots in the middle … ticks. EVERYWHERE! They were the size of pin heads. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! My pant line itches too and I find another tick community now staking claim on my skin. Great. I point this out to Abran and he just starts hysterically laughing. That’s, that’s not the reaction I was looking for … exactly. Thanks.
I went home and scrubbed my entire body for several minutes. I had to personally remove each and every tick, which I should have counted. Luckily, I have the steroid cream from my other rash, which I’ve put all over myself, because I had ticks all over my body. Everywhere. One I was like, “Oh no you DI-DN!” Hah. Too personal man. I can’t stop itching this morning. Ridiculous little buggers, but at least there isn’t Lyme’s disease here.
5. This morning I was dealt my last blow (hopefully because it’s Thursday and I’m planning on ignoring the office tomorrow) … Kathryn and I have been waiting since before the holidays to go with her office and my mayor’s office to look at a potential water source intended for the new community of houses that were built for the people who lost their homes in the landslide last year. Several times the trip has been postponed and finally it seemed like today we were going to get out there. Kathryn and I both are aching to get back into the field and were pretty excited to be included on this project.
Last night Kathryn sends me a text saying that they haven’t tested the quantity or quality of the water, but people seem to think it will be sufficient for the 40 families. Ok. Cool. Well, this morning I get another text saying that SANAA (the water authority) already has designed the water system, but no one seemed to know about this prior. For instance, the mayor’s office hadn’t the slightest idea … That would be like people living on a Superfund site and the EPA never bothered to tell them! Ok, maybe not quite, but more like a local government gearing up to start a sewer project and the state government mentions, “Oh yeah, hey guys, we did that like 20 years ago, but ya know, didn’t tell ya!”
WHO DOES THAT?! How did that never get mentioned to ANYONE?! How do these various agencies lack so much in communication that they haven’t communicated something that big and important. A water system. Running water. The essence of life and no one saw fit to mention it to anyone else?
It’s not just a matter of communication, but of money as well.
A) SANAA isn’t free and we are
B) Also, all the materials for the lots, materials for the houses, latrines and pilas were paid for already by Habitat for Humanity, ODECO, the mayor’s office and various other development organizations working in the area. Now, from what I understood, the water system didn’t have funding yet, which I thought was funny, because I think it’s pretty important. Not to mention, what good is it having pour flush latrines (need water) and pilas when you don’t have a water connection … ? That’s like having indoor plumbing, but fijeseque you don’t have a water connection. I’ve seen where the community is. They would have had to walk very far to reach the river and that water isn’t worth walking a couple of miles to get.
So a water design exists and I will get over my disappointment on that one, but if no one knew about this design then I would imagine that they haven’t been looking for funding. If no one was looking for funding, then they’re incredibly behind on that and the whole situation is just silly.
Silly is how I’m describing my week. Silly Hondurans and their silly communication problems. I was starting to call Kathryn too much to update/complain the utter lack about organization in my office at the moment, so I started calling Becky. When I started calling Becky I stopped freaking out and just started laughing. Becky says, “Ahhh, yes, you’ve reached the part where all you can do is laugh at the situation. Sorry man, must have been a bad week.” If you get to the point where it doesn’t make you angry then, well, you’ve lost, because Honduras has thoroughly kicked your butt.
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