Marathon Charla

At times, because I am spending so much time speaking Spanish, I completely lose my ability to speak English. There is a rule that exists when learning a new language, that when in doubt you don’t know the word in one language, you use the other. Therefore, I might slip some Spanish words into my blogs or just totally write like a fourth grader because I can’t remember how to form more complex sentences. Entonces (see! meaning then/therefore) FYI. Lo siento.


Wat/San-ers work a lot with health themes, because our work very much incorporates health problems. We work with latrines and water systems, and how, when you’re giving a community a charla (talk/instruction) on their new water system, can you not also go into proper use of water and the health risks if you don’t maintain a clean water system? So, one of the big pushes from Martin (the HEAD of the Wat/San program) is to get Wat/San-ers to work more in charlas, because we tend to resist giving them. That’s what happens when you get a whole bunch of engineers/awkward people together into one program!

So, yesterday a few of the health Volunteers came and gave us a multi-hour charla on HIV/AIDS (VIH/SIDA en Honduras) so that we could then give the same charla today (I have to write the blog while I’m still suffering the after-shock). Great.

Now, this was all planned for us, all we had to was actually give the lesson, but that’s like saying, “Well you have a parachute, now all you have to do is jump out of the plane!” Not only were we doing this in Spanish, but to colegio students (high school freshman). Plus, they’re not like American kids, where they see sex in the culture and all over the t.v. These kids are more sheltered because they live in a conservative country and are really only taught abstinence. Entonces, this was probably the first time they had ever heard in depth about VIH/SIDA and how to put a condom on an erect penis. Yes, yes I had to do that with 26 15 year-olds. ME! :Pause for reaction:

Now, it continues to amaze me that the Spanish language doesn’t have a single word that is the equivalent of AWKWARD. As a person that would probably choose awkward to describe their life as a whole, I am often without words to describe how my day has been. For instance, my host mom asked me when I walked in the door, “Como le fue (how did it go)?” and I wanted to shout “AWKWARD!” but alas there isn’t an equivalent and I always forget the various phrases, so I usually don’t really say anything. Awkward. Peace Corps has made me more convinced that I haven’t the slightest clue how to navigate social situations. So, to compensate for this grand lack of expression in my life, I am going to make up for it in this blog.

Now I was the kind of kid who just didn’t talk to people I didn’t know. I wasn’t quite on the par of my sister, who had to be bribed with a guinea pig to talk to family friends, but I was quite quiet. I still remember when my Dad would sit me down and say, “Hannah you’re just going to have to talk to people some time. At some point in your life, talking to other people is going to be necessary.” At first, I didn’t believe him, but eventually I figured out what he was talking about. I mean, I’m still less than proficient at making conversation, but at least I will speak to people when it becomes absolutely necessary; I still don’t always enjoy it. Entonces, imagine being such a person, learning a foreign language, talking about sexual relations in front of a whole bunch of adolescents.

“Que es homosexual, heterosexual y bi-sexual? Alguien sabe?”
(What is … …. … , Anyone know?”

CRICKETS. Well great! Let me just go ahead and explain that to you in my DAZZLING Spanish.

My response more or less was equivalent to this complexity … “Men sleep with men. Women sleep with women…” and on.

AKWARD.

I such a topic would be difficult in English, but forget about spending FOUR HOURS teaching Hondurans about HIV/AIDS. I literally thought I was going to vomit this morning. Literally. So, there’s no way around it, obviously it had to happen.

The kids were pretty diplomatic, as always and only really laughed at the awkwardness of having to write “street slang,” for such sensitive words as penis, vagina, homosexual, etc. Not only that, but imagine pulling a young boy up to the front of the class and having him read the synonyms for “menstruation,” to get everyone comfortable with the topic. Now, I don’t know about you guys, but that does NOT make me comfortable. That makes in UN-comfortable. That makes me want to crawl into a hole and DIE. He lived, though.

God, I wish you guys could see a video of this, although most people wouldn’t understand, but I’m sure the facial expressions are priceless.

My favorite part? Oh yes, how could I forget… teaching pairs of adolescents how to use … CONDOMS! God, how could we make this even more uncomfortable!

So, Kalin is walking through the steps and I’m the penis. Yes, I am holding the green banana to which she needs to apply a condom. Now, the kids thought this was oh, so very funny when they didn’t think they had to do it, but then!, I walked around and gave each pair a banana, man they were not happy. I thought a couple of girls were going to flat out refuse, but everyone played along, if only grudgingly. So they laughed, and one boy was making highly inappropriate comments to the girl he was paired with. I don’t actually know what he said, but she kept hitting him so I just assumed it was inappropriate!

What can I say, it was great practice and we did have fun, but I think I ruined my shirt from sweating so damn much out of panic/heat. It’s one of those things, where you do it and while you’re doing it you think to yourself, “this isn’t so bad,” but then when you’re done the adrenaline is used you and you think, “dear God what did I just do?”
I really think they learned stuff. For instance, most people here don’t know that mosquitoes don’t transmit HIV/AIDS. Or, anal sex can transmit HIV/AIDS as well as vaginal intercourse. So, obviously these charlas are BIEN IMPORTANTE (very important), but nonetheless doesn’t stop me from wanting to faint from fear each morning we have to do them. This one was the longest, FOUR HOURS, and was definitely exhausting.

GOOD NEWS: After I wrote this blog we went back to ADEPES to process the charla and then speak to a person who is living with HIV in Honduras. Part of the processing of the charla involves the Spanish professors who sat in our classroom pulling us aside and “constructively critique” -ing our participation in the charla. Now, I have kind of waged war with the Spanish language to prove that I’m not entirely stupid in navigating this language and don’t constantly have verbal diarrhea each time I open my mouth. So I was EXTREMELY excited when, Monze (the director of Wat/San Spanish stuff and specifically my teacher at the moment) said I did a great job!! YAY. In charlas past I haven’t participated as much as some of the other aspirantes, and tend to take more passive roles in the charlas, but I get yelled at for that, so I picked more complicated roles this time. Well, she said that she expected me to sit back again, but I surprised her because I was very active, spoke loud enough, and interacted well with the students! I starting jumping up and down when she said this, because this was the best time to prove I wasn’t retarded. She sincerely seemed stunned. That said, not a bad day!